Self Validation

Self Validation was not a trait I was taught as a child. It was always "Do this or that to make your parents proud" or something along those lines. Once I got older, I stopped trying to get validation from my parents, and looked for it through lovers. This turned into a dangerous mixture of confusion. attachment, low self-worth and seeking validation through everyone but me. Such a dangerous life for an emotionally developing young woman. I was on a destructive path, full of karmic cycles until I finally learned my lesson. I never would have found the self-love, discovered my self-worth and started validating my damn self. I never understood how important self empowerment was. I started meditating hard for hours at a time focusing on releasing negative emotions towards myself and others. This was the hardest part of my development, finding the love in myself while forgiving myself for past actions. I now understand that whatever it is that I could possibly ever want can be found in myself. Finally realizing that putting self-worth, and validation in the hand of others will leave you feeling worthless and pathless once they are no longer with you.

Love is not just a verb, it's you looking in the mirror

I've had a lot of days when I didn't feel pretty, probably even more when I felt downright ugly. Needless to say, these were not my best days. Learning to love myself just the way that I am, no makeup, #nofilter, hair undone and crust in my eye was one of the hardest yet most rewarding things I have ever done. I've felt ugly so many times by the words of others, until one day I looked in the mirror and realized that I am the shit. No one can make me feel inferior, ugly or anything less than beautiful without my consent. I created, cultivated and grew a new sense of confidence. A confidence that could not be moved by any force outside of me, something that I could call my own. I began to make myself beautiful on the inside so that it would have no choice but to radiate outward. Now I look in the mirror and see the same beautiful face everyday, instead of picking flaws I admire not only my facial features but my body as well. I love myself, and I adore myself without being obsessed with myself. That balance in itself is beautiful. Have you loved yourself today?

Queens & Things

Queens and Things is a blog about self love, my journey with it, things that have helped me and still are helping me. Love is something that I believe makes the world go round, and until you learn to properly love yourself, you cannot love those around you or live in love. Reminding myself and showing others how to live in the moment, forgive and appreciate even the smallest of things by documenting my growth and new experiences. I hope this blog reaches whoever may need it, I hope the words resonate and I hope at the very least that the words will make your heart a little lighter.